Hey guys! This one is going to be heavy and personal, but I need to get it out, so bear with me.

Everyone knows the story of Adam and Eve. The first two humans on this planet. The first sinners. The ones that “messed up the world for the rest of us,” as if one of us wouldn’t have sooner or later. Adam and Eve ate the fruit that God said not to eat, realized they royally screwed up, and hid from God.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked, so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Genesis 3:7

What if Adam didn’t hide with Eve? What if he blamed her forever?

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Granted, Adam did blame Eve as soon as God asked them why they were hiding, but that’s not the point. Adam didn’t run away from Eve. Adam lived the rest of his life (930 years) with her. That’s a long time to be alive, and I can only imagine how much longer it would feel if you were spending it angry, bitter, and blaming your wife for the decision you both made. The Bible doesn’t give us much else on the story of Adam and Eve after “the fall” but I think it’s safe to say, while Adam was probably ticked at Eve, he didn’t blame her forever.

How often do we live our lives angry, bitter, and blaming someone else for a decision we made?

How often do I?

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Well, to be honest, I have been. For a few months now.

Let me make this clear, my pregnancy is not a mistake. I didn’t plan to be pregnant halfway through college at the age of 20, but God knew this was going to happen. This was part of God’s plan for my life, so there is no way that this pregnancy or this sweet baby boy is a mistake.

However, I haven’t been the happiest about it every moment of the past five months, and my natural response has been to blame my husband for all of it. I have been blaming him for all of my pain, moodiness, sadness, anger, stress, sleeplessness, and ultimately this situation since the moment I found out.

I don’t need to go into how making a baby works, but it obviously takes two people. It has been extremely unfair of me to put all of this on him, but he has been so patient with me through all of it.

The obvious “Sunday School” solution is to forgive my husband and move forward in God’s grace. That is a lot easier said than done. Go figure. I know that this is not my husband’s fault. I know that I need to forgive him. I know that I need to accept that God has forgiven both of us. I know that I need to move forward and be thankful and be at peace in God’s plan.

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Now it’s just the matter of doing all of these things. And all I can do is pray that God changes my heart to be the wife and mom that He has called me to be.

This Mother’s Day, my pastor taught on the Proverbs 31 woman. I am not going to get into all the characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman, but she is not angry, bitter, or blaming someone else for her poor decisions.

And neither will I.

baby brewing

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